Rambling Journal Thoughts that you are privy to...

As most of you know, we have two children. Joshua and Faith. Faithy is our typical child who says some of the most interesting things. Her expressions are priceless as is her sarcasm. She is precious. Joshua is our oldest child and he has Autism. He is a card, full of imagination always coming up with new ideas for adventures to have…even if they are in his mind.

With typical kids you know they grasp a great deal…they are not adults and should not be expected to react so…they’re kids who have emotions, feelings and thoughts. Most times when you hear a child has Autism, your first thought is that because it is a neurological disorder it means they “don’t get it” or “they are slow”. That is not true, actually, quite the opposite. Joshua soaks in so much more than we realize. At the tender age of 6 he blows us away often with his profoundedness of life and how he takes it in.

When you have a child with special needs, your desire is to live forever. Any child wants their parents to live forever. I remember crying to my grandma when I lived with them, asking her to “never die”.

Last night Joshua ran up to Matt with tears and said, “Please don’t die, when I become a big person, please don’t die.” He is beginning to grasp what death is and that he would be alone. As his mommy I told Matt that I pray daily that I would live to be 120…unless Christ returns first.

He sat on my lap the other night and asked me about marriage and if one day he could have a wife. He then said, “I want to marry and have children….can I do that?” My 6 year old, with Autism is already planning for his spouse and family. He has a desire for relationship…he has grasped and has a deep desire for what God has created us to have, and that is relationship with Him. Our little boy who almost stands to my shoulder longs for love from another and has a desire to pursue that. Wow.

As a parent of two precious children, my desire is to be Christ’s reflection before them. That they grasp that they are made in God’s image. (Faith realized last night that God and Jesus are the same…she thought that was cool) That they learn that life is sacred and we are not enemies with people. (Sometimes I think we as Christians forget that). I pray they see the love Matt and I have for one another and for them, that they see the love we have for others….that they experience Christ’s love and it draws them to HIM.

I’m so pensive today…maybe it is the reality of life lately through my children, through this new journey here, through the most interesting situation of uncertainty that is before us. (the only certain thing I know and grasp to is that Christ is my Lord and one day He will return.)

This is truly one of the most scattered notes I’ve written in awhile, yet I’ve been studying and thinking of what true spirituality is, what it means to embrace the spirit and I have been challenged again by my son who just so happens to have Autism.

I guess I have rambled long enough. Have a great week all. Praying you experience God in a unique way that causes you to embrace His Spirit…and find His complete grace.